Ketchup

Yesterday I took part in a sort of study. I saw an ad on the bulletin board at school. It was advertised as some local students wanting to talk to a small group of ShiDa students. I thought it would be interesting so I signed up. The organizer emailed with some questions about why I want to learn Chinese and what the hardest thing about it was. That seemed fair enough and I was expecting a small room to talk with some other people.

However, when the 7 of us entered the room, we were surprised to see a big presentation screen in front with 2 long tables for us to sit at - with name cards and small plates of food for each of us. In the back of the room was a video camera, the front a podium with a man with a portable microphone, and the class was filled with students. I was taken aback, as was everyone else. Had I known there would be public speaking involved, I probably would have backed out. And had I know that I would have to speak Chinese on camera - whew -- well I would have waited until I had more than 3 months of Chinese on my back. Everyone else there had studied for much longer and didn't seem to have as much trouble understanding the emcee as I did. Oy.

I did as I usually do in a time of stress in public - blumbered my way through it. It's akin to blacking out while seemingly fully functional. I can't even control what comes out of my mouth, smile too much and become repetitive. I also focus all eye contact on one person. What a disaster! I really should learn to handle myself better - but it's still not something I jump to do. The last time I had to present something was to complete my major in college. When speaking my native language I have the added habit of speeding up everything I say - so if I prepare a 30 minute presentation, I somehow finish it in 15 minutes from sheer nervousness.

Luckily, afterwards, we paired up with another waiguoren and went to talk to smaller groups more intimately. This part was the fun part. I had an easier time understanding the Chinese and could speak to their questions. Some of them were about what methods my teachers use are best, what Chinese holidays I know about, what I think a good use of video is for language learning.

I am supposed to go back two more times - hopefully we'll skip right to the small groups and not have to do microphone speaking. Or maybe by then my Chinese will have improved enough so I don't have to feel so embarrassed about being in the dark. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed about my language skill - I am after all just a beginner. I guess I feel bad that they ended up with me instead of someone else. I think my old classmates Li Juan and Ke Rei would have done a lot better since they can listen and speak better than I can. Oh well, at least they are getting a spectrum.

I did the study right before class - it was my first full day with the new teacher. She's growing on me - I think she still hasn't realized it's HER class and she needs to take control, but hopefully by next week she'll have it down, instead of wanting to rely on the previous teacher's materials. We also agreed that we would take Feb 4 off so that we could have 10 straight days off for the Chinese New Year break. To make up for it we'll be adding a half hour to each class for a week. Unfortunately, one of those days is one I already plan on missing to go to Bangkok. I also found out one of my classmates travels internationally for tournaments, too. He plays pool! I was impressed and glad to hear it - as last semester I felt a little out of place always talking about my international tournament travel. I think at least the other guy can understand.

Today I have a break from dogsitting. Bodgy is a great dog most of the time and other times drives me up the wall. For example, I took him on a big walk last night around Daan park for over an hour. He got off leash twice, was running around in the street, and eating disgusting food off the ground. I don't think he's getting enough exercise but I just don't have the time to give him a proper run during the week. Hopefully going to disc tomorrow will use up all his energy. This new teacher doesn't assign as much homework, so I think I will stick with intensive. I was worried before about being able to manage my time and not burn out. Hopefully I can stay with it - and hopefully it's not a problem that I haven't paid for it yet!