I Anger You

我故意氣你
wo3 gu4 yi4 qi4 ni3
I purposely madden you

My teacher often says ridiculous things that she knows either aren't true or will rile us up or both. It's her way of keeping us awake, amused and involved. However, this week she really seemed to go over the top with her topics and aggressive suggestions.

One thing that comes up over and over is the topic of boyfriends and husbands. She often brings up the topic of cheating husbands and how natural that is in Taiwan. Friends know, but the wife turns a blind eye and pretends to not know (and in some cases may really not know). It disgusts us, most of whom are in our 20's. But this week we discussed boyfriends and it was clear that Lao Shi expected a woman to marry her boyfriend. It wasn't 'right' to have multiple boyfriends. You find the one and stick to him. If he isn't the one, you shouldn't have started dating him in the first place. There was a clear cultural/generational difference. We discussed situations where breaking up with a boyfriend would be appropriate. She agreed that if he cheated, it would be ok to dump him. On the other hand, if you're married, she didn't believe a wife should leave him. What a double standard - and such a strange one. It's no wonder that this society condones so much cheating. Li Shan said if her father ever cheated on her mother, she wouldn't speak to him again. Zhang Lao Shi said that wasn't right - they were her parents and she would always have to treat them with respect, no matter what they did.

The other double standard is that she says it's ok for men to cheat and have multiple girlfriends. But if the genders are reversed - hell no. Women are not alowed to be unfaithful. Her disdain on that topic is so high especially in comparison to her total acceptance of men doing the same, I find myself flustered and shocked to think about it. Such different ways of thinking - it's interesting most of the time, but times like this, I find disturbing.